tv-shows pickup lines

How you doing?Friends

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Go home! Go home! Go home! With me.Family Matters

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I like my women like I like my wine, red and full of alcohol.That '70s Show

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I don't have to be a medical professional to diagnose you with an extreme case of sexy.Private Practice

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I'll love you until Tom catches Jerry and has him 4 supperTom and Jerry

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I'm dating myself.Two And A Half Men

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Ouch! My tooth hurts..it's because you're so sweet.Duck Dynasty

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I’d like to be your Mother of AllSupernatural

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Going out with you would be my biggest break since the rural juror30 Rock

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Hey, girl, I’ve got some gossip for you. You sexy.Gossip Girl

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Plus, I don't have any early classes so we can sleep inFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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You waited too long and now you're in "The Friend Zone".Friends

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Hello. I'm a babe magnet.Two And A Half Men

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Are you a witch because you sure got me spellboundBuffy the Vampire Slayer

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You’re on a clock. The question is who’s clock are you on?White Collar

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Is Gabriel around? Because you’re like a beautiful mirage.Supernatural

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I'm a very private person. Care to be something I'll never tell a soul about?Person of Interest

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I'd do anything to protect my sister. Does that make you hot?Firefly

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I'm a sucker for surveillance. Would you like to join me?Person of Interest

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I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?Friends

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Looking for your happy ending? Let me show you the way.Happy Endings

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Let's go out to Oyster Bay, where no one will find us for a long, long time.Person of Interest

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I’d go to hell and back just to be with you.Supernatural

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I'm like a human USB, baby. I can do it all.Person of Interest

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You know from the moment I met you I knew You were a man of fine taste.White Collar

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Whatever it is that you servin, you better give me a doubleFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I'm digging your body, but what really turns me on are your brainssssss!The Walking Dead

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I need your help to polish my gun.Person of Interest

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In the morning, I'll let you wear my knitted cap.Firefly

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Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose some brain cells.Two And A Half Men

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Standing next to you makes me feel better about myself30 Rock

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Listen to me. This harvest festival, it's gonna knock your socks off and when it does, I'm gonna be there to give you a foot massage. To completion.Park and Recreation

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Let's work on our night cheese together30 Rock

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I'd love to dock my boat in your harbor.Revenge

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To another time, to another place, to another us.White Collar

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I have never met a pizza that I didn't like.Duck Dynasty

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Would you like to stroke my gun? Her name is vera.Firefly

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I'd never yada yada sex with you!Seinfeld

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I use coffee to wake up. And, now I'm up.Hart of Dixie

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Hey baby, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Do you know the first position?Two And A Half Men

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They call me toofer because I'm both black and great in bed30 Rock

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I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen.Two And A Half Men

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Hey girl, you look so good, I'd marry you brother just to get in your familyFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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You have a tell.Leverage

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Don't leave. Everybody leaves.Gossip Girl

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I don't wanna blink, 'cause I'm afraid to miss even a second of your cuteness.That '70s Show

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Check out my sweet buns30 Rock

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I wish I was an ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.The Big Bang Theory

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If you think I'm crazy now, wait until we get in the sack.Person of Interest

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Janice: Oh... my... God!Friends

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You checkin’ out my guns?Supernatural

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Are you a good cuddler? I might let you join my team.Leverage

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Think I'm in trouble?White Collar

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I’m not a wraith, but I can make you go crazy with one touch.Supernatural

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I followed Hall & Oates around the country one summerModern Family

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Age of the geek, baby.Leverage

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I'm a real good sex person30 Rock

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Are you single? Because I'd love to start a non-nuclear family with you.Modern Family

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Are you a slayer because you sure are my chosen one.Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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Two words: Companion training.Firefly

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No sex for you! I mean..Yes, sex for you!Seinfeld

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There's a banana stand in my pants.Arrested Development

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Excuse me! Are there any strippers here? Former strippers? Non-dancers but you're feeling a little bit drunk?Park and Recreation

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Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal you're heart and you'll steal mine.Leverage

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Once I bent down to pet a small dog and hey, it was a 5 pound squirrels.Duck Dynasty

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Hi, I'm Tom, I have a raccoon on my head.Park and Recreation

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You're so amazing baby. Are you sure it's the queen that stole my heart?Once Upon A Time

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I'd like to love you until un-death do us part.The Walking Dead

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Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get.Leverage

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I like your sweater…it's soft. - PiperOrange is the New Black

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You must be Pestilence, ‘cause you’ve infected me.Supernatural

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If I get your number, can I call you sexy?Person of Interest

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Are you Eliot Spencer? Can you help me retrieve my heart?Leverage

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You’re hotter than a ceiling fire.Supernatural

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Ginger, U are fabulous! I’m an A-list actor you mite like to meet….Ure fone is dead and out of service…Two And A Half Men

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Revenge is a dish best served cold; my love on the other hand, is best served hot and steamy.Revenge

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I want to use my coupons for free hugs on you.Modern Family

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Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?Modern Family

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Let's park and get some recreation going.Park and Recreation

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Love isn't blind, it's retarded.Two And A Half Men

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No power in the 'Verse can stop me... in bed.Firefly

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My sex doll is very popular in Japan30 Rock

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This might sound crazy, but I just had a flash-forward to us falling in love and getting married.How I Met Your Mother

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Girl, you're more precious than Precious.Park and Recreation

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No tea in this dress shop? What are you going to do?.. Put me in dress jail?Duck Dynasty

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I am a love maker!Hart of Dixie

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I'm not a gold digger. It's just your bank account turns me on.Revenge

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[Tom is playing with a stethoscope, using it on Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler)] Oh my god. Your boobs are dead!Park and Recreation

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I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR?House MD

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You're shiny.Firefly

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You will enjoy my special tea ceremony.Firefly

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I'd love to tune up your engine.Firefly

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Your name must be Eliot. You had me at Hello.Leverage

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Here is a good news. If I realize I'm insane, then I'm okay with it. I'm not dangerous insane.Two And A Half Men

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You all that and a bag of chips!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I'm like a ship without a port!Hart of Dixie

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I provide leverage.Leverage

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One time in college, a girl told me it's not you, it's me. You're darn right it's you... you heifer!Duck Dynasty

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You can call me Sophie Devereaux. Because I'm the greatest actress.. when I am stealing your heart.Leverage

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Does anybody ever ask me how my day is going?Orange is the New Black

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I think I've seen your picture somewhere before... oh yeah that's right, it was in the dictionary next to KABLAM!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Care to dance?Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I almost died choking on a donut! Alone!Hart of Dixie

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Hey girl, no need to hunt, you already trapped my heart.Duck Dynasty

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Revenge might be a dish served cold, but I'll make sure the sex is piping hot.Revenge

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I think we should go out on a real date.Hart of Dixie

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I'm only a teacher from 8:15 to 3:00. After that, I'm just a person like anyone else.Two And A Half Men

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I always wear my special hat in bed30 Rock

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Let's take some revenge out on these sheets.Revenge

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I might be going on a tangent, but would you like to be the Sine to my Cosine?The Big Bang Theory

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I wish I was a pokemon master so I could peek-at-chu (pikachu).Pokemon

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Baby, let me hack your pentagon.Person of Interest

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Are you a secure network? Because I want to get in you.Person of Interest

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Angel, when I look into the future, all I see is you! All I want is you.Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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CarltonFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Are you a Grey's Anatomy fan? Because you're definitely McDreamy.Grey's Anatomy

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Haaave you met me?How I Met Your Mother

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I'm Chuck Bass.Gossip Girl

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Will you be my sex Yoda?Hart of Dixie

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Hey girl!! Why don't you stand up and wrap your arms around a REAL man? Ok checkitout checkitout checkitout. I got 4 words for you... Hol-i-day. inn. C'mon girl you know you want to!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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You're like the girl of my dreams and the girl I made on my computer all in one.Hart of Dixie

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more of what you've got, baby.Private Practice

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I am filled with so much love for you my heart might explode.Revenge

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Hey! I'm so dope. I'm illegal in 55 states!Duck Dynasty

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It’s beautiful here.White Collar

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How about you let me put my Malcolm in your middle.Malcolm in the Middle

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C'mon man, just take 'em off, just take 'em off and we'll have some fun.Friends

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To blergh you is to love you30 Rock

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The story I tell our future kids about this moment will be legen- wait for it…How I Met Your Mother

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I heard this place sells coffee. Maybe you and I could get one sometime, if you want.Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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I'm a criminal, we keep odd hours.White Collar

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Can I be any more interested?Friends

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It is what it looks like - I was sent here to kill you.White Collar

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I may shoot to kill, but I’d miss you.Person of Interest

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What is it with women and shoes?Leverage

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If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.Friends

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Hey girl, I don't have power and success, but I'm funny.Modern Family

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If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Get it? It's a double entendre... Savez-vous?Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Charlie: Whatever. What are you doing for dinner? Lisa: Charlie, a lot has changed. Charlie: I know. I'm older and wiser, and you're hot and on the rebound!Two And A Half Men

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Wade: What's going on here? Zoe: I am here, Wade, to seduce you. Wade: You know, most people don't announce it first. Zoe: I just wanted to make sure you were aware of what was happening because this, my friend, is happening.Hart of Dixie

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[Make siren sound] Somebody call a cop! Cause it got to be illegal to look that good!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I'm Earl Kinsella and I have a lot to offerHart of Dixie

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Hehe. You give me like...a boner or something. Yeah. Hehe. A boner.Beavis & Butt-head

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I think I’m falling in love with you.White Collar

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If you're too good for 99 percent of guys, that's cool, because I'm a one-percenter.Sons of Anarchy

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Hey Wadester.Hart of Dixie

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Can you empty your pocket? I believe you have stolen my heart.Leverage

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I think you're hot. And whoever doesn't like it can kiss my ass!That '70s Show

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Joey: Come on, give me another chance. I can do a southern accent. [with Jamaican accent] Joey: Ya, mon.Friends

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Hey, did you used to be a demon? Cuz that's hot.Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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You must be the Impala because I’d love to ride you all night.Supernatural

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I know your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I've got a "book" for you to red.Firefly

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Emotion is a con man’s sweet spot.White Collar

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A no sex pact! I have one of those with every woman in America!Friends

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If I’m a demon, you must be a Devil’s Trap, because I’m stuck to you.Supernatural

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I may be a sick lesbian in a prison bunk. But I got a couple tricks up my sleeve.Orange is the New Black

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Hurry up and write your number down before I don't want it no moreFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Is that a stair car in your pants or are you happy to see me?Arrested Development

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Oh there is plenty of fish in the sea, but only one bass.Gossip Girl

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Can I show you my Long Island?Revenge

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Whatever your real name is I will love you.Leverage

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Let's run away on that boat I stole from some white guy30 Rock

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YOLO!Hart of Dixie

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Darling, you're on fire. Like doughnut grease.Duck Dynasty

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I will help you avenge your father's death after you help me avenge this boner.Revenge

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I am a regular Harry Potter… In the kitchen of course.Hart of Dixie

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I'll be in my bunk. Wanna come with?Firefly

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I don't let anything get in the way of what I want. And I want you.Revenge

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Girl your eyes are bluer than Heisenberg's CrystalBreaking Bad

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I was just listening to a crazy termite. Hatching a crazy plan that absolutely will not work.Hart of Dixie

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This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business.That '70s Show

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Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal in bed.Firefly

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I like to listen to 90's R&B before trial.Hart of Dixie

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I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.Friends

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I'm not Colombian, but I can tell you're caliente.Modern Family

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Am I sexy in Tulsa?Friends

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It's not stalking if you both happen to be at the same party. (Spike)Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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I like the shape of your ears.Orange is the New Black

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You have heartbreak and I have hostility. Let's take the day off and play hookyHart of Dixie

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I see you're into anarchy. I'd love to get wild with you.Sons of Anarchy

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Did you see that wonderful new documentary about the best sushi in the world?Orange is the New Black

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My name's Nate Ford...and I am a thief.Leverage

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Hi, my name is Vod – Vod-Kaknockers!Two And A Half Men

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Wanna make a huge mistake?Arrested Development

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Always the con man, never the con.White Collar

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Is that rigor mortis setting in, or are you just happy to see me?The Walking Dead

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That ass. Have Mercy.Full House

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No, I don’t text her, 'It was nice meeting you.' I wait eight weeks and I text her, ‘What's crackin?'Park and Recreation

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I'm a spring princess, so consider yourself sprung!90210

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Browncoats do it better.Firefly

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Is that the Colt in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?Supernatural

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Ted Mosby, ArchitectHow I Met Your Mother

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Wanna get in? I'd love to give you a ride.Gossip Girl

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You're my Angel.Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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Let’s get out of here and go all Chuck and Blair in the back of the limo.Gossip Girl

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Let play a game called T.V, I turn your knobs and you watch my antennae rise.Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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I don't smoke...but I do flirt...White Collar

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My engine is overheating just standing near you.Sons of Anarchy

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You're sweeter than an ice planet.Firefly

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Your world won't be easier if I did not come back.Gossip Girl

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Who needs consent? I'm Chuck Bass.Gossip Girl

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Let's go break the law just one more time.Leverage

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Let's get together and test the Big Bang Theory.The Big Bang Theory

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I like to watch. Do you?Person of Interest

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You can't tell me your opinion doesn't matter. You changed me for the better in a hundred different ways. Yeah, I might miss a book or a, a salad here and there, but...I've got Claire all over me.Modern Family

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You must be the yellow-eyed demon, because you’re my obsession.Supernatural

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I'm giving you my cold face. Hardcore, right?Hart of Dixie

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You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.Leverage

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Wanna get twixt my nethers?Firefly

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Do you want some of my hot dog?Person of Interest

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I want you to be part of my life.White Collar

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I would wuv to get in your pants.Supernatural

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I hope your soul is permanent because I will give you more than one moment of true happinessBuffy the Vampire Slayer

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Will you be my person?Grey's Anatomy

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Hey girl, let's go to the deer blind.Duck Dynasty

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Sitting next to borpoh doesn't come close to snitting next to yerpoh30 Rock

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Your ass haunts me. - CaputoOrange is the New Black

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Hi, my name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.Seinfeld

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Joan, let's make a pact, OK? If we're both still single in an hour, let's get married.Park and Recreation

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I blue myself when I think about you.Arrested Development

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Can I go golfing with you?Modern Family

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They call me the hero of canton, you know.Firefly

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Of course I'm good in bed. How do you think Finch got his limp?Person of Interest

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I'll follow you through a revolution and back.Firefly

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Hey, boo. Are you aging in reverse? 'Cause you look barely legal.Park and Recreation

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I’d love to jump in your hole.Supernatural

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You make me feel like I'm high-fiving a million angels30 Rock

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A boyfriend? No thanks, I have food.Person of Interest

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I just hope my next fake girlfriend isn't so bossyHart of Dixie

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My freedom is worth more than anything that diamond could buy.White Collar

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You'd better be a cardiologist, because something about you makes me want to give you my heart.Grey's Anatomy

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Girl, I got to tell you, that suit looks like a piece of 'Good God' wrapped up in some 'Have Mercy,' with a side of 'unghm!'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Is your name Alec Hardison? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.Leverage

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Baby we must be a perfect match, because you are in all my plans.Leverage

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your love makes me feel like my hearts trying to hug my brain30 Rock

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I love you almost as much as I love television30 Rock

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You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast.Seinfeld

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Let's role play tonight. You play me and I'll play you.Revenge

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I'm not a doctor, but I'd sure love to give you a physical exam.Private Practice

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Look, if you knew me at all and shut me down, it would be one thing, but to be dismissed on a simple "hello", well, that's a tough pill to swallow.Two And A Half Men

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I just want to get my mother out of my head. I don't want to quit drinking or gambling or none of that good stuff.Two And A Half Men

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I'd love to be the Diet Pepsi to your Sofia Vergara.Modern Family

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Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here.Gossip Girl

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Hey baby, wanna twirl with me?Happy Endings

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Flute-playing enhances my finger dexterity30 Rock

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I'm feeling some sapphic vibes coming off you.Orange is the New Black

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I'll slime you so good you'll think your on NickelodeonNickelodeon

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You f***ing tickle me. - NickyOrange is the New Black

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Sex couldn't kill me.Two And A Half Men

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I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty enlightened right now.White Collar

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Is that a Callahan full-bore auto-lock or are you just happy to see me?Firefly

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I'm lyin' I'm dyin', you know what I'm sayin?Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Baby, I love you so much that if Joss Whedon were writing our romance, one of us would be dead by now.Firefly

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We can sandwich toast to orgasms. - RedOrange is the New Black

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How about we head up to the bedroom for some halftime festivities?Modern Family

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My nephew was in twilight30 Rock

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I like hot girls. And I like hot boys. I like hot people. What can I say? I'm shallow.Orange is the New Black

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Hey, Wanna take a trip to the special hell?Firefly

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I'll hack my way into your heart.Revenge

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Neal Caffrey, at your service.White Collar

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I think you're totally ah-mah-zing!Happy Endings

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I am a leaf on the wind... in bedFirefly

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Yes I am a hunter, and it's you season.Park and Recreation

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I'm a paleontologist. I dig.Friends

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You don’t need a spell to summon me.Supernatural

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Have you ever licked the Liberty Bell?How I Met Your Mother

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I’m just admiring you. It’s impressive how you’ve handled everything.White Collar

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Meat should never be used as an adjective.Leverage

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Yeah, that's a gun in my pants. But I'm also really happy to see you.Person of Interest

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Are you a phoenix? ‘Cause baby you’re burning me up.Supernatural

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I might be having feelings. Like weird, weird feelings for pretzels.Leverage

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I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination.Gossip Girl

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Are you cold? Wanna borrow my Browncoat?Firefly

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I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will do you.Firefly

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I noticed you noticing me, so I just wanted to put you on notice.. that I notice you tooFresh Prince of Bel-Air

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Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey! Let's go out sometimes.Saved by the Bell

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