politics pickup lines

Drunk women are disgusting. By the way, I am going to win the drunk woman vote. (Donald Trump)

republicapolitics

You put the "leg" in "delegate".

republicapolitics

I'm gay but I want to be convinced otherwise.

democraticpolitics

Another drink, Barbara and Jenna?

republicapolitics

Just as the Republican Party boldly confronts big challenges, nothing would please me more than you confronting the big challenge rapidly growing right now in my pants.

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, we'll make the Preezy enforce DOMA, you wait and see!

republicapolitics

Is that a RINO in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

republicapolitics

I believe in the trickle down theory. So how about I trickle down the inside of your thigh?

republicapolitics

I won't tax that ass, because that's theft under threat of a gun, girl.

republicapolitics

Wanna pretend we're Republicans and have gay bathroom sex?

democraticpolitics

How about I drop my pants and show you some shock n' awe.

republicapolitics

Let's go someplace and release our delegates

democraticpolitics

I'd really like to show you my new social program and redistribute some of my holdings.

democraticpolitics

I may not be Bruce Springsteen, but I can still Rock your Vote! (Chris Christie)

republicapolitics

You got more curves than a NASCAR race track!

republicapolitics

Hey baby, can I see an ID. Not because I don't think you're old enough, but because I don't think you're white enough to be from around these parts.

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, I'm not like the others!

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, we're serious about Fast & Furious!

republicapolitics

Fur is murder!

democraticpolitics

I'm white, you're white - it can't just be coincidence!

republicapolitics

To see you naked, I would turn in my own mother to the Department of Homeland Security.

republicapolitics

I'm gonna Barack your world

democraticpolitics

You're just like Ann Coulter, but without the penis!

republicapolitics

Preemptive strike! (Slap her ass)

republicapolitics

I want to be near your vagina so much, I'll write laws about it.

republicapolitics

Sorry if I seem aggravated -- I'm still upset about that world-class jerk, Michael Moore.

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, we'll overturn ObamaTAX!

republicapolitics

I'll enhance your peace, if you'll disarm my soldier.

democraticpolitics

Wanna go hug some trees?

democraticpolitics

You must be a WASP because I want you to Bee mine.

republicapolitics

I wanna drill you like an Alaskan oilfield.

republicapolitics

Because of [insert a Republican political figure] leadership, we are strong; because of his vision, we will be even stronger; and because I can't stop thinking about your ass, I haven't been able to stand up for the last half hour.

republicapolitics

The logo for our party is an elephant. Want to see what the elephant and I have in common?

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, we'll extend the Bush tax cuts in time!

republicapolitics

Hey baby, wanna check out my big environmentally friendly wiener?

democraticpolitics

The tattoo on my manhood spells "RAN." But when I get excited, it spells "REPUBLICAN."

republicapolitics

Check out my new Banana Republic shirt.

republicapolitics

You know, in this light you look like you could be Laura Bush's younger, more desirable sister.

republicapolitics

Wanna see my yule log?

democraticpolitics

Wanna practice some REAL gun control?

democraticpolitics

Hey baby, wanna get liberal with each other?

democraticpolitics

I’m a Republican. I love a good Bush. (Rick Perry)

republicapolitics

Wanna see my collection of Ann Coulter books?

republicapolitics

Are you from a swing state? Because I’d love for you to swing my way. (Jeb Bush)

republicapolitics

Hey, let's go in the back and discuss politics!

democraticpolitics

Didn't we meet at a Klan rally?

republicapolitics

Hey, baby, let's get together and bash bush

democraticpolitics

If I had to choose between having a Republican President in the White House, or never being able to see your cleavage again, I'd be stumped.

republicapolitics

Hey baby, how'd you like to see a REALLY Merry Xmas?

democraticpolitics

I got the stiffness of Al Gore and the stiffness of Bill Clinton...

democraticpolitics

Hey baby, I'm "bi-partisan" and I can swing both ways .... what are you?

republicapolitics

You like country music TOO??

republicapolitics

I'm all for No Child Left Behind. I'm even more for your child-like behind.

republicapolitics

Are you in the military? Because you even bring me to a full salute. (Rand Paul)

republicapolitics

Global warming obviously doesn't exist - YOU'RE the one heating up the place!

republicapolitics

Don't worry, babe, those Executive Orders will never get used!

republicapolitics

When I ejaculate, you'll see a thousand points of light.

republicapolitics

Make like the surplus and go down on me.

republicapolitics

You are sexier than Chelsea Clinton.

democraticpolitics

The Koch brothers bet me a million dollars! couldn’t strike up a conversation with the most beautiful girl here. Wanna buy some votes with their money? (Ted Cruz)

republicapolitics

Now that's what I call a stimulus package

democraticpolitics

I HOPE you CHANGE your mind and give me a 15th chance! You won’t be disappointed. Have I ever lied to you?

republicapolitics

The GOP didn't like my stimulus package, but you will.

democraticpolitics

Are you from a polling organization? Because I’d love to show you my hard numbers. (Scott Walker)

republicapolitics

Something's rising and it's not the national debt

democraticpolitics

Hi, I'm John Edwards

democraticpolitics

GOP milk?

republicapolitics

I have a good job.

republicapolitics

Are you religious? Because I am the answer to all your prayers. (Mike Huckabee)

republicapolitics

I'm a uniter, not a divider. So how about you unite your mouth with my shlong.

republicapolitics

Why do I want to fuck you? You're poor and I'm a Republican. Duh-doy!

republicapolitics

May I check out your Bush?

democraticpolitics

I love Dick n' Bush.

republicapolitics

Wanna find out why they call me a Repub-lickin'?

republicapolitics

I'd love to hang out with you, but I can't make it a late night -- I'm shipping out to [place] in the morning.

republicapolitics

Did you come from a Red State, because I'd love for you to be a taker.

republicapolitics

Wanna control the media... together?

republicapolitics

The Republican presidential debate is going to be like a singles bar full of unattractive men trying to get you drunk enough to vote for them

republicapolitics

How about I leave no child behind... in your womb!

republicapolitics

Hey, let's go strangle some kittens!

republicapolitics

Hey girl, you're the only state in my union.

democraticpolitics

Looking at you has been the only thing that's ever made me question abstinence education.

republicapolitics

I'm stiffer than John Kerry

democraticpolitics

Are you from Florida? Because you’re so hot you make my poll numbers rise. (Marco Rubio)

republicapolitics

I don't care about your politics, your fashion sense or your taste in music. I judge you solely on your football team preference.

fantasy-footballsports-themed

I'll make you scream like Howard Dean

democraticpolitics

Did you just fall from heaven? Because you look like an angel donor. (Dr. Ben Carson)

republicapolitics

Girl, you must be an Obama entitlement program. Because you are definitely raising my interest rate.

democraticpolitics