doctor-nurse-hospital pickup lines

Ever slept with an EMT? Want to?

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Wanna see if we can drown out the siren?

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Is there something in your eye? Oh wait, its just a sparkle.

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When we first met I couldn't get you out of my mind, now I can't get you out of my heart.

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You give me premature ventricular contractions.

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Medics know how to pick you up 5 different ways

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Wanna join the code 3 club?

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We are prepared for any rhythm

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I need a life. Please lower your standards and go out with me.

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You have acute angina.

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I'm good with multiple partners

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I'm a medic, I know your body better then you do!

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My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you.

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That pulsation in my femoral sheath isn't coming from an artery.

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Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.

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Whenever I'm near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

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I hope you passed CPR because you're taking my breath away

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I'm familiar with Latex and restraints

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I'm like a doctor, actually an orthodontist, I'm gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh take off your clothes

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Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

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We should get some coffee… Because I'm liking you a latte.

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I don't want to go all Freudian on you, but cute doctors pull strong feelings from me because they're a safe target for feelings I originally had for my parents.

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I am an organ donor, need anything?

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I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart.

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You must be the one for me… Since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.

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Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I'm falling all over the place for you.

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You've got beautiful veins

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I'm an expert in mouth-to-mouth

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Baby, you make me vasodilate!

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Hey girl, you're like a car accident, because I can't look away.

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Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum?

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I'm the best in rapid clothing removal

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Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

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EMTs come when people go down

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Those clothes look uncomfortable… need me to cut them off for you?

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Wanna play 'Doctor', Doctor?

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Is your name Flecainide? Because I think you just made my heart skip a beat.

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When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.

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Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

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Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.

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I need to practice my trauma assessments. Will you be my patient?

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I'll shock the socks off you

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Are you a nurse? Because you cured my erectile disfunction.

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Playing doctor is for kids...let's play gynecologist!"

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I'm used to staying up all night

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Are you a pulmonary embolism? 'Cause I can't breathe when I'm around you.

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Come into my office and take off your pants.

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Can I take your temperature? Because you're looking hot today.

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Sit back and relax…I fix broken hearts.

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Wanna feel safe tonight? Sleep with an EMT.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?

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Keep talking... I'm diagnosing you.

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Where there is a pulse there is a chance.

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(Look for any small skin imperfection) Has anyone ever looked at that? Why don't we go back to my place so I can give you a full exam?

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I can find every pulse in your body!

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I might need life alert, because I've fallen in love with you and can't get up.

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You know, I've been highly trained to stick things into people…

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Trust me, this is how they did Mammograms back in the old days.

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Baby you're so sweet you're gonna put me in DKA!

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Your bus or mine?

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They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.

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If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.

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I have my own multi-positional bed

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Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you're making me drool.

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No one else can cut off your clothes, restrain you, and sedate you like a medic can… Wanna play?

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We always come when we are called

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I'm no organ donor, but I'd happy to give you my heart.

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I'd love to do a 12 lead on you

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Fire Fighters play with their hoses, I bring the bed

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I can make your heart skip a beat. No really, I'm certified to do it!

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If I go into cardiac arrest will you give me mouth to mouth?

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How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?

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I'd like to find another doctor. Why? Because I've got a crush on you. Would you like to grab lunch sometime?

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